I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
