I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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