you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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