.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
bring money and cleavage
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
