David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
