wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just want nice things and good sex
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
