even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
