i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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