i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
