Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
