So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
