Don't EVER smell your tampon
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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