Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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