I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
