she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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