Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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