Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
