So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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