Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
