But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
