You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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