His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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