don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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