Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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