Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
