so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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