you turned your livingroom into a bong?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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