Don't you send me to vm
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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