If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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