Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
