i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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