I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i think im in europe. pls send help
i believe in u and ur pee
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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