puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
