I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
