I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
