so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
