The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
