The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
