So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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