Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I just put wine in my tea
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
