I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
