I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
