I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
