I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
