I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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