Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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