I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize