I am in a vortex of obligation.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
