Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
