Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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