im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
