I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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