What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
