pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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