hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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