i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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