YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
