I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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