Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
