just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
