Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
