Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
