yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
