it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
