so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
