just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
