you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize