Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think your dad took our porno
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
