thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
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