Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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