Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
