Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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