I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
