I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
