Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
