So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
