Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize