There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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