Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
