i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize