I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
