this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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